An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat.
Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one
out of the vestibule.
When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a
pew where he had to sit and listen to the entire sermon on "The Ten
After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his
hand vigorously, and told him "I want to thank you preacher for saving my
soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon
on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it."
Preacher: "You mean the commandment 'I shall not steal' changed your
Old Man: "No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that I
remember where I left my old hat!"