An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of
his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and
tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed
on the other side of the room. The convict got on the bed and it appeared
to the husband that he may have been kissing her neck. Suddenly the
convict got up and left the room. As soon as he had a chance, the husband
made his way across the room with the chair in tow, and turned to his
pretty young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown. He
whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him
kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate with
anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it
and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad.
Our lives depend on it."
"Oh honey", the wife said, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel
that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years. But he wasn't
kissing my neck... he was whispering in my ear. He told me he thinks
you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom."